It’s late and that is when negative thought start to creep in my head and I try with all my might and through prayer to push them out.
I have been seeing so many YouTube videos, Instagram, and twitter posts on Taylor Swift’s Reputation Stadium Tour. I have loved her from the beginning ever since I saw her sing on the CMAs with Tim McGraw. I have never judged her and always believed she handled being famous really well. I loved her songs about her ex boyfriends! Her music has gotten me through really tough stuff in my life from having cancer, being bullied, and breakups and relationships.
When I had a MAKE-A-WISH, I was deciding between meeting her and going to Hawaii, I chose Hawaii so I could go with my family for a week. I have truly admired how much in interviews and on her tours how she was so real and really just seemed like a sweet “Girl Trying to Make a Place in This World,” that’s from one of her songs. I loved her country music but then when she slowly transitioned through Red to 1989 all the way to Reputation, I feel IN LOVE even more!!! I love that as she grew as a person she was able to guide all that growing into new music each time.
When I went to her 1989 Tour, I was so emotional it was directly after a breakup and literally EXACTLY what she said was what I needed to hear. I totally knew God was looking out for me.
Now it’s 2018. She has her Reputation Stadium Tour and I can’t go. I can’t attempt to get tickets, I can’t listen to her cd the whole way there, I can’t be excited and look forward to going, I can’t stand in the stadium and breath in all the hopes and dreams of the other fans, I can’t walk through the crowds and crowds of people, I can’t stand in line in the merchandise tour booth, I can’t scream and yell for her when she comes out or even when there is an encore. I can’t.
This is when having a chronic illness that affects all of this really gets in the way. I just have to be a fan from a far and cheer her on in my own house.
I do miss life sometimes. This is one of those moments that hit me hard. I want to go, I want to be there, I want to have fun, I want to be normal. But I am not normal. I am unique. I am powerful even in my weakness. I have a God who loves me and wants to be in relationship with me. I have the strength to stay away from the tour and the wisdom to know I won’t be able to go. It’s not easy, but it’s possible with God to conquer anything.
I really do admire everything Taylor Swift is doing, she works with Make a Wish, is involved in so many charities, she still tries to have a love life even though her relationships have been rocky. I just enjoy seeing her blossom into the amazing woman she is. I am proud to be her fan.
Teresa Love 