Since being on my recovery journey (from CFS/me & POTS) I’ve had a lot of emotions. In fact it’s been emotional rollercoaster with lots and LOTS of highs. Starting to feel better. Feeling more and more like my happy self. Finding the love of my life. Getting engaged and then married. Everything was so beautiful, exciting, and fun. There’s been some emotional situations that we had to figure out wether it was how will we start our life living together when married with me being so sick still. Or situations with his work and trying to navigate all of that.
My therapist said when there is a lot of highs and then emotional situations when everything slows down you can start to feel more emotional and your depression can even seep in.
I want to be this strong wife who knows what she’s doing and has everything together. That’s not me. I’m emotional as I’ve said. I’m sensitive. I’m unique and do things my own way. I’m trying and that’s all anyone asks of me. My husband is so unbelievably understanding but sometimes I feel like he doesn’t see how much I feel that I’ve failed and that I can’t do.
The other day after having a pretty bad day physically I really needed to shower. After him helping me but then trying to do the rest myself I ended up almost passing out as I was getting out of the shower. It scared him, rightfully so.
It’s just so confusing sometimes it’s I can do everything and I run around doing so much!! But then others times I can barely keep my eyes open and need a nap each day. Which is really confusing to Ricky. I mean he’s being so sweet and compassionate to the situations but I’m sure it’s stressful for him too.
So the other day my therapist recommended to start writing on my blog again. She said try 2 times a month.
Some other goals we created were: driving more, film, edit, and post a YouTube video 1x a week.
I have some other goals maybe I’ll make a whole post on it.
Love,
TCR
Teresa Love 