It really is a weird feeling never knowing when or for how long you will feel sick “be in an episode.” It makes you want to run and do anything you want when you feel healthy. Thursday night August 1st, I wasn’t feeling good all day but then that evening started feeling more nauseous. Next when I got up to go to bed, I stood up and couldn’t walk. I needed help. My husband had to really help me even walk a step.
It’s always so scary when I get into these episodes. When will it end? How bad will it be? What was the trigger? I always have so many questions stuck in my head.
I think I know the trigger, I started a new mold protocol for the myotoxins in my body per docs orders. And it’s been really kicking my butt!! So possibly it’s that.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it? Is this something I can control? Can I just freeze and rest until next time I feel better? Or is it all just confusing, upsetting, and how it might need to be for now.
Sometimes when I’m in an episode I feel better laying down other times I feel worse moving at all or not moving. It’s quite a HARD thing to understand. This time if I’m up at all, sitting up or especially standing I get super light headed, nauseous, and vertigo.
I know I know I need to find things to do while resting. I need to find joy and happiness even when I’m feeling so sick. But it’s HARD!!!
I REALLY wanted to go to this library sale today…but my body wouldn’t let me. Even with a walker or wheelchair I wouldn’t feel better right now.
Productive:
Today I edited a short video.
Worked in a Bible word search.
Watched Dead Pool 2 with my husband.
We got fresh air for a few mins.
It may be small but I’m proud of it.
Maybe I’ll write each day or every few days just to ease my mind.
I know God has me in His arms.
Love, T
Teresa Love 