Category: Beauty/Lifestyle Blogger

I’m tired.

Lately I’ve been in a flare. I may know what triggered the flare. Enjoying scary movies with my husband on days leading up to Halloween and night of Halloween. Or possibly the birthday week of celebrating my birthday. But I did decide to do less and use the wheelchair when needed.

But do I deserve to be this bad right now? NO! It’s really hard when I’m constantly trying to find things that will help. Whether it’s a new supplement, a new exercise, or something for my mind. It just doesn’t work. I keep thinking if I can get back to even where I was 2 months ago that would be so nice. I was still struggling with some things, and needed rest days. But I could do a lot more and then crash, but I had fun.

The other day I went out of the house after getting ready for makeup, dressed, and I wore binder. My abdominal binder is a compression garment that I Velcro close around my abdomen. It’s helped a lot! I can finally go back to church and use it and sit in the chairs.

But this one day I wore it went to my parents house for lunch with my family. And has I was sitting there I just started to get sicker and sicker as if I wasn’t wearing the binder. So I thought what usually helps well alcohol actually helps me stay upright and can have energy to do fun things. So I had someone grab me a high noon. A few sips just hoping wishing it would work. And it didn’t. I had to cut the time short and go home good thing I live a few doors down from my parents though.

I was racking my brain…why isn’t this working? What’s going on? I prayed. I cried. I felt despair.

That was a week ago. It’s a flare for sure but new symptoms too.

I just gotta keep praying. Asking for peace. Assurance. Happy moments. I need to give it to God. I need to leave it all at the foot of the cross.

Love, T

🎶Sinking Deep – Hillsong United

What’s the point of doing fun stuff if you’re just gonna suffer the next day.

I did everything correctly, I went to church, which is good for my soul. Maybe church was too much cause I already wasn’t feeling that good after getting ready. But then my father-in-law is preaching so I want to support him. It’s so crazy how what’s good for a healthy person is not necessarily good for a chronic illness person. Like healthy person support a family member and church is good. Unhealthy person use energy for the morning at church becomes too much for the event you’re doing later.

My birthday is tomorrow. Why do I have to be flaring and dealing with October slide right now…It’s just so unbelievably annoying. I just wanted to have a fun time with family and lunch and then go to two stores which I did the best decision. I brought my wheelchair and used it so that I could save energy and not walk. But apparently that’s not the decision that’s gonna make me feel good the next day should I’ve just had lunch and then head home. Yes, that probably would’ve been smarter but I just wanna be a normal person and be able to go shopping when I want to. It was so fun! I felt so cute!

I wasn’t wearing my red glasses, which helped me with stimulation and vestibular migraine stuff. So maybe I needed to wear those when I was shopping plus I didn’t even take the pills. I need to take them during lunch. And then getting home and doing a shopping haul try on…maybe wasn’t the best decision including spinning in my pretty dress!!

I was just in the moment and I forgot about those looking back. Maybe some things sort of would have helped but we can’t look backwards. We have to look forwards.

But now my birthday is tomorrow and I have no idea if I’m gonna have the energy to do anything. Due to today being stuck in bed with a migraine and heart issues.

I know I’m gonna look back on those pictures and see the few things I bought and be happy and excited for what the day was. I’m just really praying that I’ll be healthy tomorrow for my birthday October 21st. If not, we might just have to do something chill.

I was about to go out to lunch in a downtown area. The plan was to meet up with my sister and kids, and my aunt, and my mom. Which we did! But I had the wheelchair cause my energy was depleted…then the ground was cobblestones which does not do well when you’re in a wheelchair. I still had a great time living on Dr.Pepper, mimosa, and prayer.

Now it’s been a few weeks and the last week of the flare of my conditions have been much worse.

Love, T

Sometimes I want to go back to simpler days when I was young and before I was sick.

This last month has been hard. February 1st I got a nasty cold. Had to deal with that on top of my usually symptoms including pain from my period. May be tmi, but it’s the truth. Then March 3rd, I got sick again the flu this time with a fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, etc. There were moments yesterday when my fever wasn’t breaking and I really didn’t want to go to the ER…thank God after a nap it broke. Had another fever last night and woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.

Your brain connects these moments when something happens in your body in the past you brain says “ohhh remember Teresa that really scary time…it’s happening again…)

BUT ITS NOT TRUE.

I had this moment yesterday when I was delirious from being up the night before for two long due to pills that were supposed to help me feel better and sleep kept me awake for 6 hours…fun??!

I’m a cancer survivor of subcutaneous T-Cell lymphoma when I was 15. It’s been almost 15 years but my body still isn’t back to a normal functioning level it sucks.

Anyway…my fever was staying 101* which made me miserable. But I kept thinking this isn’t how it was before is it!?? I had to physically throw my body out of that mindset. No it’s not before when you had lymphoma you just had fevers and lumps you didn’t have all the other flu symptoms.

Days can be really hard being chronically ill. There’s so many unknowns and now all the worry of getting sick and dealing with just more and more symptoms or having it set me back.

Just because I have all these symptoms doesn’t mean you HAVE to live in the darkness. I’m slowly working on my body, my mind, and my soul to hopefully come out of this one day.

Idk I just felt like writing today.

Love, T

Being chronically ill (CFS/ME & POTS) my health goes up and down I can’t even tell you the amount of times I get vertigo or other symptoms in a day.

I’ve started selling a few things on sites like Postmark. But something I’ve always wanted to get into in graphic design. I make things all the time for my YouTube channel or my Bookstagram. Canva is a site I use to make those items. I have a very creative mind and selling some templates on canvas would be fun and help us out too. I like to be able to contribute.

Anyway here are some templates I’ve made:

Thank you for considering me!

Teresa