Shout out to the guy who doesn’t have an Instagram but deserves the real shout out.
The man in my life my Husband Ricky. We started a crazy healthy new lifestyle and he’s been making 3 meals a day full of protein, veggies, and fermented foods. I’m just overwhelmed with his dedication and willingness to help me.
I may be emotional lately, but the amount of work he puts in for me is absolutely astounding. He knows how I’m feeling before I even say. He helps me remember to take pills and other routine things.
And now he’s been making so many healthy lifestyle choices, I’m very proud of him. We are doing this together!
We had our first Valentine’s Day married and it was amazing. Just a little bit of bragging about my husband.
So much has happened lately…In December my husband and I both got Covid. My body handled Covid in not an easy way. Fevers, shakes, so much chest pain, and a bunch of my POTS symptoms got worse.
It all started after Covid, a week after recovering from covid my husband got RSV. We were sick and at home for way too long. Not to mention we had to stay further a part so I didn’t get sick again. That was REALLY hard, especially since my love language is physical touch and quality time.
Then after covid my depression got WAY WORSE. It was really scary for a bit I got an appointment with my psychiatrist which is Medi-Cal….I’m really not a fan. He changed my medication to help and it did the opposite. Why can’t my body just listen and do the right things, well the definition of my chronic illnesses are literally dysautonomia this means my body doesn’t do the normal functions correctly. I guess I should know but years and years of this dang it’s hard. Finally after fighting for another appointment and me having to tell him EXACTLY what I needed change, then I helped it.
But then after that my body physically started getting worse, like my chronic illness symptoms started flaring up. You don’t need to hear the whole list but some main ones are definitely chest pain, vertigo/dizziness, and body pain with neuropathy. This was also hard for a while, I was really nervous I was going to just keep getting sicker and sicker to the point where I was before having to use my walker and not be as independent anymore. Thank God this didn’t happen after a week in a half, it started to get better.
I’ve also noticed more swelling again which kind of scares me. I’ve been really swollen before and that was really hard to control.
I started seeing my Functional Medicine doctor again. She did give me some tips. 1) I need to start cutting out sugar slowly and then get rid of it mostly. 2) Some special tests she wants me to get done. 3) Movement and strengthening each day. 4) Seeing my nutritionist again and learning how to eat healthy again. 5) Need to create a better sleep schedule again being asleep by 10pm and up by 8:30am. 6) Get more sun each day to help with depression and energy.
Since being on my recovery journey (from CFS/me & POTS) I’ve had a lot of emotions. In fact it’s been emotional rollercoaster with lots and LOTS of highs. Starting to feel better. Feeling more and more like my happy self. Finding the love of my life. Getting engaged and then married. Everything was so beautiful, exciting, and fun. There’s been some emotional situations that we had to figure out wether it was how will we start our life living together when married with me being so sick still. Or situations with his work and trying to navigate all of that.
My therapist said when there is a lot of highs and then emotional situations when everything slows down you can start to feel more emotional and your depression can even seep in.
I want to be this strong wife who knows what she’s doing and has everything together. That’s not me. I’m emotional as I’ve said. I’m sensitive. I’m unique and do things my own way. I’m trying and that’s all anyone asks of me. My husband is so unbelievably understanding but sometimes I feel like he doesn’t see how much I feel that I’ve failed and that I can’t do.
The other day after having a pretty bad day physically I really needed to shower. After him helping me but then trying to do the rest myself I ended up almost passing out as I was getting out of the shower. It scared him, rightfully so.
It’s just so confusing sometimes it’s I can do everything and I run around doing so much!! But then others times I can barely keep my eyes open and need a nap each day. Which is really confusing to Ricky. I mean he’s being so sweet and compassionate to the situations but I’m sure it’s stressful for him too.
So the other day my therapist recommended to start writing on my blog again. She said try 2 times a month.
Some other goals we created were: driving more, film, edit, and post a YouTube video 1x a week.
I have some other goals maybe I’ll make a whole post on it.
I’m overwhelmed at the oddest times. Taking a shower by myself without a shower chair is absolutely amazing to me. The fact that I can ENJOY a shower and not suffer barely making it through is really an overwhelming feeling.
People who aren’t sick really take the walking and the showering and doing things independently for granted. I’ve been doing it for a while now but just getting out of the shower and not feeling like I’m going to pass out is just amazing.
God is good! 43 days til the wedding!!!
Today my mom, I, and our two friends went to the apartments we might be able to rent. To pray about the situation just ask for God’s hand and control in it all. I’m not in control we know that He is ultimately in control. To have an apartment our own space with my husband would be absolutely wonderful. And to have it close to my parents house would be a blessing since I still need help physically when I feel sick.
Please pray for our strength, my energy, and the apartment for us. If it’s not in God’s pray the other living arrangements will work well.
It was a Wednesday evening when Ricky asked Teresa to go out to dinner on Friday for an early dinner to celebrate our 10 months together. Since we missed the celebration before. At first Teresa was quite suspicious thinking maybe the ring came in and it was time to get proposed to. But as she kept mentioning and asking to be proposed to before her Chicago trip. Ricky kept saying it probably wasn’t going to happen in time. This bummed Teresa out. Now Friday 7/29/22 Teresa asked what to wear to dinner he said what ever you’d like I’m not dressing up. Therefore this made Teresa think he wasn’t going to propose there. Plus all the other days she’s been wearing dresses and going her makeup all cute.
As we drive to dinner we have a great time chatting. Get to dinner and have to wait. So we wait outside talking about how happy we are. At dinner, Teresa jokingly says “don’t put a ring in my food I don’t want to break my teeth, he says haha no of course not I wouldn’t propose here also I’m so sorry but the ring hasn’t come I won’t be able to propose before you leave. Teresa got freaky really sad and thought she could tell by his face that he was being truthful. Teresa is taking her time eating like normal but Ricky starts to rush her a little bit saying “oh traffic just jumped to 27 mins to 57 mins, we have to go. But Teresa wants dessert! Unfortunately it’s too late and the check comes and we rush out of the restaurant to avoid the bad traffic.
They talk a little bit in the car but then Teresa gets super super tired and asks to take a little nap which worked out great because Rick ended up taking the back roads and Teresa would have gotten car sick.
As we near Teresa’s house Rick nicely wakes Teresa up saying “we are almost home but can you do me a favor and close your eyes for me?” Of course she does. As she keeps her eyes closed he drives a little more and then parks. He says “keep your eyes closed and hold on.” He gets out of the car goes into the trunk and supposedly walks away. She waits patiently. After a minute or two Rick comes back helps her unbuckle and grabs her hand saying “follow me.” He leads her up a curb and onto the sidewalk. She’s walking so slow in his words. He guides her to the swings and has her sit. Then says “okay open your eyes.” She does.
He’s right in front of her. Starts to say all there cute things. (a little boy says will you push me while on the swing next to us) then in shorts kneels down in the tan bark and pulls out a ring and says “will you marry me?” She says “yes of course!!!” Hugs and kisses him. (the little boy says are you done with that yet? Pointing to my swing.) He puts the ring in her finger. And then after a few minutes he takes my hand and says let’s walk. We walk across the park.
As we walk we are just over the moon excited and she keeps looking at her ring. Then he says “have you ever noticed over that hill there is a basketball hoop?” Teresa looks over to the right and keeps looking for it squinting cause she can’t see without her glasses very easily. Finally she sees it. He pauses turns her to the left and says “babe look.”
When she looks she sees a white pop up tent with a Love balloon, pictures strung on the wall, pink roses, a sparkling cider bottle, and fruit bowl. It was straight out of a romance movie. She kissed him and cried. Their pictures were covering the walls. What an adorable and peaceful set up.
Teresa Love 
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