Health Journey

You Are Not Alone

Being chronically sick you often feel alone.

Your friends are going out, moving on with their days, weeks, and months. As my dad would say when I was younger “Girl, you are outta sight, outta mind.”  I knew it wasn’t a particular friend not wanting to be my friend it was just easier for them to go on with their lives when I wasn’t around.

That’s pretty much how it feels when I am sick. I KNOW my friends care about me so much, but it’s easier for them to think of me when I am around. I understand.

I think I am alone…and then a cute little furry friend surprises me and jumps onto my recliner. Yes, that my Bella. She’s a 8 pound Yorkshire Terrier. And a blessing from God. We found her at the perfect time. But that’s a whole other story. God knew I needed her in my life.

There’s that saying, “It’s a dog’s life.” People used to refer to that as if to say a dog’s life is a very hard life. But to me it’s the opposite. My dog lays around all day. The best part is that she lays with me. Wherever I am, she is.  If I am on the couch, she is laying on my feet. If I am in my bed, she is curled up right next to my body. If I am in my recliner she lays on the foot of it or under the foot rest. Lol. If she hears her dog friends outside she will go and bark and visit them but then no matter what she always comes back. She never leaves me.

This is a great example of how God is, He never leaves us. If we are in the deepest, saddest place He will be with us there too. If we pull away with all our human might, He will come find us. He is the shepherd and we are his lambs.

I think often when we are upset we feel like God is not there or He doesn’t get near such pain, like He is too holy to be near me when I am in such a dark place. But that’s NOT the case at all when we are in are deepest sadness He is there holding us, comforting us.

That is a great mental picture to think of when you feel alone. It really helps. He meets us where we are. Just as Bella is my support/therapy dog she is always comforting me. If I am feeling really sick she knows and gets closer and closer to me. If I am crying she nudges forward until she she reaches my crying face. Just her happy little self makes me smile when I look at her.

Puppies are the best medicine, like babies. Even when she is laying cute we are always like “aww she’s adorable.” She is very special to me and completes our family.

Therefore I know I am not alone because I have God and my support dog Bella with me always. When you feel lonely try to distract yourself. I play with my dog or color with music on and really just try to relax. You can too. Find your own “Bella” and find comfort in yourself, God, and the people who are there for you.

Intro

Oh Hello Blog

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My friend J was just talking about blogging today and it really made me miss it. I remember when I used to just get a thought and run with it through words. I love just writing and not worrying about what people will see it, if it even sounds good, or how much to write. I always try to keep everything private with names and such but I still do really enjoy talking about my life.

Let’s see not much is going on right now I am still just here chilling. Oh wait I don’t know if I told you…I was diagnosed with 2 chronic illness. One is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / ME and the other is Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia. Yep, so that is annoying!!!!

I have had these crazy symptoms for 4 years off and on with like one week episodes and then a few months. We are talking nausea, dizziness, fatigue, weakness, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, unbalanced, no energy, depression, body pain, swelling, and so much more!! Then randomly I would just get better and be totally fine. These episodes were totally non functioning I could barely get off the couch and as they went on they got worse and worse and longer and longer.

Now I have been in an episode since June 26th so that will be around 11 months soon. Honestly it sucks! I have gone through some pretty tough stuff in my life but I really haven’t gone through something as crazy and difficult as this. It takes a lot of strength in myself, strength in God, and so much support from my family and friends.

This is all God’s plan and I am just continuing to trust Him and let Him lead me wherever it goes.