Tag: lifestyle

Health Journey

Sometimes Its Hard

Teresa Love

It’s late and that is when negative thought start to creep in my head and I try with all my might and through prayer to push them out.

I have been seeing so many YouTube videos, Instagram, and twitter posts on Taylor Swift’s Reputation Stadium Tour. I have loved her from the beginning ever since I saw her sing on the CMAs with Tim McGraw. I have never judged her and always believed she handled being famous really well. I loved her songs about her ex boyfriends! Her music has gotten me through really tough stuff in my life from having cancer, being bullied, and breakups and relationships.

When I had a MAKE-A-WISH, I was deciding between meeting her and going to Hawaii, I chose Hawaii so I could go with my family for a week. I have truly admired how much in interviews and on her tours how she was so real and really just seemed like a sweet “Girl Trying to Make a Place in This World,” that’s from one of her songs. I loved her country music but then when she slowly transitioned through Red to 1989 all the way to Reputation, I feel IN LOVE even more!!! I love that as she grew as a person she was able to guide all that growing into new music each time.

When I went to her 1989 Tour, I was so emotional it was directly after a breakup and literally EXACTLY what she said was what I needed to hear. I totally knew God was looking out for me.

Now it’s 2018. She has her Reputation Stadium Tour and I can’t go. I can’t attempt to get tickets, I can’t listen to her cd the whole way there, I can’t be excited and look forward to going, I can’t stand in the stadium and breath in all the hopes and dreams of the other fans, I can’t walk through the crowds and crowds of people, I can’t stand in line in the merchandise tour booth, I can’t scream and yell for her when she comes out or even when there is an encore. I can’t.

This is when having a chronic illness that affects all of this really gets in the way. I just have to be a fan from a far and cheer her on in my own house.

I do miss life sometimes. This is one of those moments that hit me hard. I want to go, I want to be there, I want to have fun, I want to be normal. But I am not normal. I am unique. I am powerful even in my weakness. I have a God who loves me and wants to be in relationship with me. I have the strength to stay away from the tour and the wisdom to know I won’t be able to go. It’s not easy, but it’s possible with God to conquer anything.

I really do admire everything Taylor Swift is doing, she works with Make a Wish, is involved in so many charities, she still tries to have a love life even though her relationships have been rocky. I just enjoy seeing her blossom into the amazing woman she is. I am proud to be her fan.

Intro

Oh Hello Blog

Teresa Love
silver macbook pro
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

My friend J was just talking about blogging today and it really made me miss it. I remember when I used to just get a thought and run with it through words. I love just writing and not worrying about what people will see it, if it even sounds good, or how much to write. I always try to keep everything private with names and such but I still do really enjoy talking about my life.

Let’s see not much is going on right now I am still just here chilling. Oh wait I don’t know if I told you…I was diagnosed with 2 chronic illness. One is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / ME and the other is Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia. Yep, so that is annoying!!!!

I have had these crazy symptoms for 4 years off and on with like one week episodes and then a few months. We are talking nausea, dizziness, fatigue, weakness, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, unbalanced, no energy, depression, body pain, swelling, and so much more!! Then randomly I would just get better and be totally fine. These episodes were totally non functioning I could barely get off the couch and as they went on they got worse and worse and longer and longer.

Now I have been in an episode since June 26th so that will be around 11 months soon. Honestly it sucks! I have gone through some pretty tough stuff in my life but I really haven’t gone through something as crazy and difficult as this. It takes a lot of strength in myself, strength in God, and so much support from my family and friends.

This is all God’s plan and I am just continuing to trust Him and let Him lead me wherever it goes.