Category: Beauty/Lifestyle Blogger

Beauty/Lifestyle Blogger, Health Journey

Resting is Self Care

Teresa Love

Hey it’s me!

Something amazing happens!? It’s really cool. Haha that reminds me of when I used to watch The Wild Thornberries and she’d say “she could talk to animals but it’s totally secret.”

June 26th 2021 marks 4 years straight of being chronically ill. Barely leaving the house, using mobility aids whether it’s my walker or wheelchair, and watching my life fly by while I’m stuck staying reclined almost 24/7 in my chair.

I don’t even know when this started but for a few months now I started feeling better. First I could walk without my walker for like 20 mins and I was amazed. Then I felt more strength in my legs from all the movement my doctors have me doing. Then I started to be able to sit up for longer periods 10 mins to 2 hours now. Now I can walk without my walker most days and do a lot more. Now to figure out life but that will be another post. Lol

Honesty it’s so FREAKIN amazing. Like feeling better, having energy and motivation to do more is so great.

But what I forget about sometimes is I’m still sick. There’s no cure for my condition so I may get to a functioning level, but I will still need to rest. And honestly I’m okay with that. At first I was like doing all these things each day and then I’d get to day 8 and be exhausted and sad. But now I understand that I need rest days, hours, and minutes.

So when I start to feel tired or worn down I just have to remember self care is important and resting takes priority over anything else.

Love, Teresa

Beauty/Lifestyle Blogger

Numbers Don’t Matter But Do They?

Teresa Love
Rainbow bookshelves

I’m a booktuber and a Bookstagrammer. For those of you who don’t know what Booksta is it’s using Instagram for only the book community you post about books and it’s a lovely community. I’ve been able to review ARCS (advanced readers copy) of books, I’ve been able to support my friends on there, and grow my reading tastes. And Booktube is the book community on YouTube.

If you are a creator you will understand. When you create a product that you have worked so hard on you expect to get a good amount of good feedback. Well with Instagram the dumb algorithm decided to punish you for not doing reels (it’s literally copying tik tok), not liking and sharing enough photos, and hiding your pictures under the hashtags.

It’s just so frustrating. You work hard and you really enjoy for your photos. You even feel like you’re growing and changing your theme of your account is getting better. Then you get under 50 likes which with 1800 followers that’s INSANE.

Yes, it’s not all about the numbers. It’s about the community, the creative outlet, and expression. But when you see those numbers getting lower and lower and you post every single day it’s discouraging.

So here’s my shameless plug…I have a YouTube channel and a Bookstagram feel free to check them out.

Love, T

Beauty/Lifestyle Blogger

Emotions

Teresa Love

I think it’s interesting how much your emotions can change from one second to the next. At one moment you’re feeling okay and content and the next you can feel so distraught or sad and you don’t know why.

I understand it is my depression but I still feel like it’s such an abnormal feeling in my body. I’m the girl who is smiling because she’s happy. The girl who cheers other people up. But now I’m the girl whose sad. I’m the girl whose tired of feeling sick all the time. Who has all these emotions and she’s writing because she doesn’t know how to get them out.

I’ve always pulled my strength from God. I was doing a Bible study the other day with my mom and there was a part that said “ Happiness is dependent on what happens – our circumstances. Joy is far deeper and is not so dependent on our outward circumstances. It is a blessing from God. Joy is the characteristic of an encounter with Jesus.” I feel like this really speaks to how I feel. Even if I feel emotionally sad it doesn’t mean I have lost the JOY and HOPE we can find in Jesus.

Love, T

Beauty/Lifestyle Blogger

2 years on June 26th 2019

Teresa Love

In a few hours, it will be 2 years of being sick. 2 years of weakness. 2 years of identifying as disabled. 2 years of missing church. 2 years of waiting for this illness to just go away. 2 years of being mostly stuck at home. 2 years of being dizzy 24/7. 2 years of handling it all.

In a few hours, it will be 2 years of being chronically ill. Although it’s been tough and not fun at all. I have learned so much.

I have learned how to handle things differently. I have learned that saying no to someone doesn’t mean you are disappointing them. I have learned to stand on my own feet even if I am wobbly. I have learned to be grateful for the little things in life. To celebrate the tiny accomplishments. And most of all don’t let your anxiety get the best of you and try not to be a perfectionist. I have learned to trust God in every situation and no problem is too small to bring it to Him. I have learned to be happy for the people around me even if I can’t enjoy what they get to do. I have learned to do whatever I can do to help my symptoms within reasons, and make decisions based on the way that causes the least amount of stress because with my illness stress can make my symptoms worse. I have learned that I am the only person who is in my body until someone walks in my shoes I just take their opinion and ideas lightly. I have learned to be grateful and content even if my day feels unproductive. I have learned to not be so hard on myself. I have learned that we all have paths and seasons in life that are difficult to manage and with a good support system, God, and confidence in yourself you can do it.

Thank you for following my journey!!!

Beauty/Lifestyle Blogger

Christmas Means So Much More

Teresa Love

Tonight I was playing a card game Michigan Rummy with our family friends. I took a Xanax to try to last a little longer to be able to get through a card game. It didn’t work the way I planned.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to just sit up for any amount of time when you have CFS/ME. I feel like people really take for granted something as easy as sitting up at a table. We played a card game and toward the middle of the game I started getting sick and it just got worse and worse and sicker and sicker. My heart starts to beat really fast, I get lightheaded, nauseous, and dizzy. It becomes hard to breathe.

Christmas Eve is tomorrow. I am sitting in my recliner listening to Christmas music, snuggled in a blanky, letting my heart beat get back to normalacy. I love Christmas. I love celebrating the birth of Jesus. My Christmas used to be full of people, celebrations, makeup, and church. We would practice for weeks and weeks to plan the youth stuff with the students. I would volunteer to help at the Christmas service. Help out with the youth at each and every service. I loved preparing and looking forward to it all. I would go to service in the morning with my family then go and help out with the students and enjoy celebrating the birth of Jesus.

Today my Christmas will look different since I stuffer from many chronic illnesses, I can’t do what I would like to do this Christmas. I would like to go to church because after all Jesus’s birth is WHY we celebrate Christmas. I want to be with the students teaching them why Jesus came into this world for us. I want to come home and have people over and actually have energy to entertain them. I want to play with the kids on the floor and dance with them. I want to help my mom clean and make appetizers and yummy food. I want to just make everything easier for my mom and dad. They already do so much for me.

But that’s not how this year with go. I wish it was different I DO NOT want to be sick, but unfortunately because I am there is a way different way to look at it all. I may not be able to go to church but I can praise God through my daily devotions and prayer time. I can thank the Lord for coming into this world as a weak baby and growing into the man that died on the cross for our sins. I can do cute and fun makeup which makes me happy. I can SMILE through it all cause there is a greater joy in my heart even with all my terrible circumstances. I can help my mom and dad slowly and chose the way I help wisely. I can sit on my walker for a short time and help break up the cake for the cake pops or even sit in my chair and help make different foods. I can greet people and make them feel loved and welcomed. I can walk outside with my walker and use my walker when I play bean bag toss. I can take a cute picture and post it on Instagram later just cause I like taking cute pictures. I can spend time with my lovely little puppy. I can sit in my chair when kids are here and spend time talking to them and their parents. I could cry about it all because I LOVE Christmas and I can’t have the wonderful amazing awesome Christmas I would love to have. But that doesn’t mean my Christmas won’t be meaningful, fun, and still very loving. I blessed to have an amazing family and family friends that support me and love me through all of it. I have been sick for 1 year and 6 months straight now and that’s been really difficult.

I ask you to do some things for me.

1. Hug your family or significant other.

2. Think about how lucky and blessed you are to just be able to walk (if you can)

3. Let God fill you with Christmas spirit, don’t argue, get upset with anyone, and don’t forget you are loved by Our Heavenly Father.