Tag: sick

christian, Health Journey

It’s Been a Crazy Week!!!

Teresa Love

God is good!!!

Life has been a whirlwind lately. As my boyfriend Rick and I have been getting to know each other and learning everything about each other. We discovered that even at a early time of dating we loved each other. And now fast forward 9 months! We are planning to find a place to live and get married.

This is not a love letter to my boyfriend. It’s a “wow I can’t believe this is my life right now!?”

7 years of being sick 4 of them being close to housebound and now I am in the process of finding a place to live away from my parents, I have a boyfriend who truly cares about me, and we are planning a wedding in the future. Like serious what is my life!?

Story time: months and months ago Ricky and I put our name on a waiting list for these apartments that weren’t even built yet. The wonderful this is they are literally 1 minute from my house now. This means with my health my mom can help me anytime I need, if he’s not home and I’m having a bad health day or symptom. We really wanted to stay in our same town as close as we could to my parents. Then on Thursday July 30th they contacted us. Asking if we wanted to come in for a tour? Of course we said “yes!” Scheduled it for July 10th which was in 2 Saturdays. I understood I needed to wait but I was starting to worry a little. Then Saturday morning they texted and said “you can come at 11:30am for a tour.” Of course we said “yes!”

We went for the tour. At first it seemed odd cause it was still a construction site and we knocked and no one answered. It was daylight so we weren’t worried and I have my big tough guy with me. Lol

So I called the number they texted me and they said “oh awesome, we are here we will walk down from the model home section.” We met 2 really nice ladies. They right away showed us the clubhouse which had a heated pool, pool table, high ceilings, tables and high seats, etc. it looked awesome!

Then they took us in the golf cart to the one apartment that is actually finished. It was absolutely beautiful. Loved everything. It didn’t feel too small which can be a big problem for me cause I get claustrophobic. I could totally picture us living there. There was a nice kitchen with all appliances. There was windows that brought in a lot of light. And a walk in closet which could be a nice way to hide some stuff (makeup drawers, book cart, bathroom cart, clothes, etc) and a bath/shower in the bathroom nothing was too short which can be a problem with our tall heights. Is was gorgeous and very home like.

There’s a little more process to do but we are looking at our expenses and planning to jump on the application when we get all our ducks in a row and they contact us again.

Then we decided to go look at rings. I knew I wanted to look and he didn’t know even my size so we went on a little trip to go ring shopping. First we went to the place he got my necklace which was for Valentine’s Day ended up finding the ABSOLUTE perfect dream ring there it’s unique just like I am as he said. So now we are starting the process to plan the wedding because the ring will take 2-4 weeks for it to come in since it’s custom. Exciting!!!!!!

Im just really happy, excited, joyful, and content. I still have my ups and downs with my health. Even a newish thing if I think too much or do too much for too long then I get a pretty bad migraine (so that’s fun…not)

But seriously I am feeling so blessed!!

For now. Please pray and send us good thoughts. We need to stay calm, relaxed, and excited. When God opens door we chose to walk through.

Love, T

Health Journey

Taking a Flight Without Anxiety

Teresa Love
Me on the airplane ✈️

After 7 years of dealing with my chronic fatigue off and on and then 4 years straight of it 24/7. I was finally able to do something I’ve wanted to do for so long.

My mom and I decided to just plan a trip to go visit our family friends in Spokane Washington. we had to fly since it would be an easier trip than driving.

There was definitely some fear and anxiety surrounding it 1) going to airport 2) going through TSA and 3) being on an airplane again. All the unknowns are the ones that tend to trigger my anxiety. Will I be okay in the drive there? Will I get sick while going through security like before? Will I not be able to sit up during the flight?

I’m HAPPY to say “I made it through it all.”

My wonderful boyfriend drove us to the airport which really helped my anxiety cause he distracted me on the way there talking and listening to music.

Then we were all loaded up wearing my backpack and my mom and I walked into the airport.

As we got closer and close to the security line I was getting nervous. But I kept saying “it’s okay, you’ve done it so many time before.” Trying to reassure myself. I read all the signs to make sure I didn’t have anything I wasn’t allowed.

I showed my Real ID (glad I had that!) and moved toward the security. This part kinda went into sonic speed, because next I walked up to the buckets put bag and shoes in it took our iPad and put it in the tote. There was a couple in front of us who didn’t seem to know what they were doing cause they were going too slow. But my heart rate stayed calm. Then I walked through the big machine stood there for 5 seconds with arms up, which I would have never been able to go before.

As I stepped out they stopped me and a lady with gloves started to pat down my chest and asked “is there anything in there?” And I said “just my boobs and bra.” We had a good laugh 😂 I got stopped before I have the pole in my back so the machine must have notified them. Then continued walking out everything back on and picked up everything and moved forward.

You have no idea how AMAZING it feels to 1) walk through security on your own 2) feel confident and “normal.” And 3) not feel like you were going to cause a scene or pass out.

This was definitely a really awesome milestone today! Did I still get sick on the airplane yes it was like car sick feeling. But we walked around before the flight and I was able to function walk to the bathroom alone.

I still don’t know how long this energy will last, but for now I am thankful and really enjoying the ride.

Love, T

Beauty/Lifestyle Blogger, Health Journey

Resting is Self Care

Teresa Love

Hey it’s me!

Something amazing happens!? It’s really cool. Haha that reminds me of when I used to watch The Wild Thornberries and she’d say “she could talk to animals but it’s totally secret.”

June 26th 2021 marks 4 years straight of being chronically ill. Barely leaving the house, using mobility aids whether it’s my walker or wheelchair, and watching my life fly by while I’m stuck staying reclined almost 24/7 in my chair.

I don’t even know when this started but for a few months now I started feeling better. First I could walk without my walker for like 20 mins and I was amazed. Then I felt more strength in my legs from all the movement my doctors have me doing. Then I started to be able to sit up for longer periods 10 mins to 2 hours now. Now I can walk without my walker most days and do a lot more. Now to figure out life but that will be another post. Lol

Honesty it’s so FREAKIN amazing. Like feeling better, having energy and motivation to do more is so great.

But what I forget about sometimes is I’m still sick. There’s no cure for my condition so I may get to a functioning level, but I will still need to rest. And honestly I’m okay with that. At first I was like doing all these things each day and then I’d get to day 8 and be exhausted and sad. But now I understand that I need rest days, hours, and minutes.

So when I start to feel tired or worn down I just have to remember self care is important and resting takes priority over anything else.

Love, Teresa

Beauty/Lifestyle Blogger

Emotions

Teresa Love

I think it’s interesting how much your emotions can change from one second to the next. At one moment you’re feeling okay and content and the next you can feel so distraught or sad and you don’t know why.

I understand it is my depression but I still feel like it’s such an abnormal feeling in my body. I’m the girl who is smiling because she’s happy. The girl who cheers other people up. But now I’m the girl whose sad. I’m the girl whose tired of feeling sick all the time. Who has all these emotions and she’s writing because she doesn’t know how to get them out.

I’ve always pulled my strength from God. I was doing a Bible study the other day with my mom and there was a part that said “ Happiness is dependent on what happens – our circumstances. Joy is far deeper and is not so dependent on our outward circumstances. It is a blessing from God. Joy is the characteristic of an encounter with Jesus.” I feel like this really speaks to how I feel. Even if I feel emotionally sad it doesn’t mean I have lost the JOY and HOPE we can find in Jesus.

Love, T

Health Journey

Can You Trust?

Teresa Love

I came across a post on Instagram of a fellow Spoonie today. She was showing her painting that she has been working on, it made me smile.

When I was first diagnosed with CFS/ME the doctor told me that it happens to woman between the age of 20 and 30, perfectionists, driven, and creative.

Well that’s me…

When I first heard that it honestly freaked me out like “should I have not pushed myself so hard?” “Could I have changed my path?” “And why did this happen to me?”

Growing up we are told to “do our best, try hardest, and never settle for mediocrity.” I always heard these phrases growing up and thought “yes I can do this, I may not be the smartest in school but I will always work my butt off “Could this be why I am sick?” All this pushing and striving for perfection?”

These thoughts go through my mind more often than not I would haven to admit. But I need to remember is they are just thoughts and it only matters what I do NEXT. Do I let these thoughts control my mind and body and let it control how I feel emotionally?

I don’t believe any of this! I know there is a big, huge, unbelievable plan for me. God is always here. Even in my darkest moments God is there hugging me.

In the world we always want to find the reason WHY. Why did your friend get sick? Where does cancer come from? Why does this happen to people? What will happen after we die, like I know Heaven but what Is it really like? Why is there violence and hate in this world? The truth is the ONLY one who know is God. He knows every single plan, moment, and person.

All we can do is trust in the Lord with all of our hearts. And I know that’s is to say and hard to do but I have learned through thick and thin, through negative and positive moments, through losing friends and making new ones God is ALWAYS there. And we need to trust in HIM wholeheartedly. Not for just this second, but every single second after that and with EVERYTHING.

So I ask you? Can you trust God wholeheartedly?