Tag: anxiety

Health Journey

Taking a Flight Without Anxiety

Teresa Love
Me on the airplane ✈️

After 7 years of dealing with my chronic fatigue off and on and then 4 years straight of it 24/7. I was finally able to do something I’ve wanted to do for so long.

My mom and I decided to just plan a trip to go visit our family friends in Spokane Washington. we had to fly since it would be an easier trip than driving.

There was definitely some fear and anxiety surrounding it 1) going to airport 2) going through TSA and 3) being on an airplane again. All the unknowns are the ones that tend to trigger my anxiety. Will I be okay in the drive there? Will I get sick while going through security like before? Will I not be able to sit up during the flight?

I’m HAPPY to say “I made it through it all.”

My wonderful boyfriend drove us to the airport which really helped my anxiety cause he distracted me on the way there talking and listening to music.

Then we were all loaded up wearing my backpack and my mom and I walked into the airport.

As we got closer and close to the security line I was getting nervous. But I kept saying “it’s okay, you’ve done it so many time before.” Trying to reassure myself. I read all the signs to make sure I didn’t have anything I wasn’t allowed.

I showed my Real ID (glad I had that!) and moved toward the security. This part kinda went into sonic speed, because next I walked up to the buckets put bag and shoes in it took our iPad and put it in the tote. There was a couple in front of us who didn’t seem to know what they were doing cause they were going too slow. But my heart rate stayed calm. Then I walked through the big machine stood there for 5 seconds with arms up, which I would have never been able to go before.

As I stepped out they stopped me and a lady with gloves started to pat down my chest and asked “is there anything in there?” And I said “just my boobs and bra.” We had a good laugh 😂 I got stopped before I have the pole in my back so the machine must have notified them. Then continued walking out everything back on and picked up everything and moved forward.

You have no idea how AMAZING it feels to 1) walk through security on your own 2) feel confident and “normal.” And 3) not feel like you were going to cause a scene or pass out.

This was definitely a really awesome milestone today! Did I still get sick on the airplane yes it was like car sick feeling. But we walked around before the flight and I was able to function walk to the bathroom alone.

I still don’t know how long this energy will last, but for now I am thankful and really enjoying the ride.

Love, T

Beauty/Lifestyle Blogger, Health Journey

Resting is Self Care

Teresa Love

Hey it’s me!

Something amazing happens!? It’s really cool. Haha that reminds me of when I used to watch The Wild Thornberries and she’d say “she could talk to animals but it’s totally secret.”

June 26th 2021 marks 4 years straight of being chronically ill. Barely leaving the house, using mobility aids whether it’s my walker or wheelchair, and watching my life fly by while I’m stuck staying reclined almost 24/7 in my chair.

I don’t even know when this started but for a few months now I started feeling better. First I could walk without my walker for like 20 mins and I was amazed. Then I felt more strength in my legs from all the movement my doctors have me doing. Then I started to be able to sit up for longer periods 10 mins to 2 hours now. Now I can walk without my walker most days and do a lot more. Now to figure out life but that will be another post. Lol

Honesty it’s so FREAKIN amazing. Like feeling better, having energy and motivation to do more is so great.

But what I forget about sometimes is I’m still sick. There’s no cure for my condition so I may get to a functioning level, but I will still need to rest. And honestly I’m okay with that. At first I was like doing all these things each day and then I’d get to day 8 and be exhausted and sad. But now I understand that I need rest days, hours, and minutes.

So when I start to feel tired or worn down I just have to remember self care is important and resting takes priority over anything else.

Love, Teresa

Health Journey

Let Go, Let God

Teresa Love

We are just moving through life with good things happening. But then something comes up, interrupts our lives, whether it’s a change you weren’t expecting, a death in the family, an illness, an accident, losing a job, or moving. We are just going along “skipping through the tulips,” when all of the sudden BAM! And it’s very easy to drown in self pity.

This can create a situational depression, the feeling of hopelessness, sadness, worthlessness, and overall negative emotions. I am not afraid to say I have struggled with all of that before and am currently still working at it each day.

When your life changes in the blink of an eye it tends to hit you hard. That’s how I felt when my life went from “living my best life”, to not having the ability to do any of the things I used to do let alone get out of the house. My chronic illnesses really interrupted my life…but does it have to be an interruption? What if it could be just a whole other path to take?

Often, when life is going good it’s easy to push God to the backseat of your car and say “I’m good, just living my life.” Then when a crisis occurs, it’s hard to let God steer when He is stuck in the backseat. I have always given God the wheel and have trusted Him to take me wherever He wants and have tried not to be a backseat driver. That’s why I love the Carrie Underwood song “Jesus Take the Wheel.”

When that illness, fear, accident, negative situation happens, you are armed with the Holy Spirit to fight your battles not for you but WITH you. I do struggle with depression and sadness through all this illness, but each day I am working through it, getting the help I need, and letting God use me in any way I can even if it’s just through this blog.

Health Journey

You Are Not Alone

Teresa Love

Being chronically sick you often feel alone.

Your friends are going out, moving on with their days, weeks, and months. As my dad would say when I was younger “Girl, you are outta sight, outta mind.”  I knew it wasn’t a particular friend not wanting to be my friend it was just easier for them to go on with their lives when I wasn’t around.

That’s pretty much how it feels when I am sick. I KNOW my friends care about me so much, but it’s easier for them to think of me when I am around. I understand.

I think I am alone…and then a cute little furry friend surprises me and jumps onto my recliner. Yes, that my Bella. She’s a 8 pound Yorkshire Terrier. And a blessing from God. We found her at the perfect time. But that’s a whole other story. God knew I needed her in my life.

There’s that saying, “It’s a dog’s life.” People used to refer to that as if to say a dog’s life is a very hard life. But to me it’s the opposite. My dog lays around all day. The best part is that she lays with me. Wherever I am, she is.  If I am on the couch, she is laying on my feet. If I am in my bed, she is curled up right next to my body. If I am in my recliner she lays on the foot of it or under the foot rest. Lol. If she hears her dog friends outside she will go and bark and visit them but then no matter what she always comes back. She never leaves me.

This is a great example of how God is, He never leaves us. If we are in the deepest, saddest place He will be with us there too. If we pull away with all our human might, He will come find us. He is the shepherd and we are his lambs.

I think often when we are upset we feel like God is not there or He doesn’t get near such pain, like He is too holy to be near me when I am in such a dark place. But that’s NOT the case at all when we are in are deepest sadness He is there holding us, comforting us.

That is a great mental picture to think of when you feel alone. It really helps. He meets us where we are. Just as Bella is my support/therapy dog she is always comforting me. If I am feeling really sick she knows and gets closer and closer to me. If I am crying she nudges forward until she she reaches my crying face. Just her happy little self makes me smile when I look at her.

Puppies are the best medicine, like babies. Even when she is laying cute we are always like “aww she’s adorable.” She is very special to me and completes our family.

Therefore I know I am not alone because I have God and my support dog Bella with me always. When you feel lonely try to distract yourself. I play with my dog or color with music on and really just try to relax. You can too. Find your own “Bella” and find comfort in yourself, God, and the people who are there for you.

Health Journey

Emotions

Teresa Love

It’s crazy how much your emotions can effect your physical health. Like if you are worrying about going somewhere, your body can make something wrong to the point where you don’t have to go anymore. Even if someone is worried that they’re pregnant the stress of that can stop their period. When someone has anxiety it can create more symptoms from the worrying. It’s crazy!

For me emotions affect me so strongly. If I have a really negative day where I am just crying and really upset about being so sick then my body can feel so sick and heavy like I can’t even get out of my recliner all day. But when I force myself to get up and go outside it slowly helps. Like the other day I was so upset, I was even being rude to my mom and all she does is help me. I decided I didn’t want my day to be ruined so I went outside sat down in the sun, played worship music, and just breathed in the calmness of nature. I was able to stay out there for a few minutes before I started to burn (pale skin).

Just that little motion of changing my surroundings, shutting my mind off besides talking to God, and just really focusing on all the beautiful things around me. I listened to the mourning doves cooing. Felt the warm breeze hug me tightly. Saw all the vibrant colors, I felt like I was seeing the world for the first time in a while. Like in Twilight when Bella becomes a vampire, how ever single detail and all the vivid colors she sees.

Emotions are strong. Even stronger than logic sometimes. But nothing or no one is stronger than the Almighty Father. We are in His gorgeous creation.

I think sometimes we focus on all of our own problems and what’s going wrong, we forget to “stop and smell the roses.” If you can find one little super small thing that is positive in your day and focus on that you will be surprised on what the outcome could be.